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the ladyboss  Nuruljannah |
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gone with the wind April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 May 2008 December 2008 January 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 |
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* sWiNgiNg siNgLe ~
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Finally, last saturdae, i had the courage to bring it out all dat i've kept abt him...The moment of truth..He confessed to me bout his mistakes online..but once bitten twice shy..
He wanted to enjoy his life..I sacrifice my love for him and go separate ways just to see him gain back his happiness...But in return i juz can't forget everytg dat has been happening for 3 years plus. Wad more after watchin 'Love is Cinta'. It hurts a lot reminiscing those memories i had with him.
I don wanna brag abt the past. I forgive him but juz can't forget it. Watchin 'Love is Cinta', it seems to be like in a fairytale. Being with the guy i loved most but in the end he left me juz like dat.He didn't even say sorry. Why in the first place he didn't tell me abt his feelings all dis while?? I feel cheated and it's unfair. Why on earth he came back to me??
This time round it reallie hurts a lot. But i've kept quiet. Let time flies with the memories i had.
Let time heals the wound deep in me. Scars are left untreated. I'm awaiting a new beginning for myself. To do some soul searching before finding a companion.
I'm beginning to adjust myself to the normal surrounding being alone. Hate loneliness but wad can i do, i haf to face it on my own. Back to single life - square1. :)
LiFe is BaCk to NoRmaL.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Hey...i've gone thru a lot of obstacles frm the startin of the year.Nw my life is back to normal.Not worrying of personal problems anymore. I've put it aside.Most importantly i'm going for my education qualifications.
No doubt I need my family and friends support. I want to achieve success in my near future. I've learnt to be stronger and bolder in overcoming all the upcoming obstacles.
Sometimes having a close friend turns out to be ur worst enemy. I don trust anyone except for my family. They r the ones who'll stand by me when I need them most. In times of difficulty, I don see my frens helpin out in a way or another. Perhaps they'll pretend not to noe. Frens are onli there in times when ur happy. They'll nvr be there 4 u when ur sad/lonely or in hardship. They'll just sympathise but care less abt it.
So to people out there, if u wanna make friends wif me, u have to earn my trust. :D Good Luck.
It's hard for me to FORGIVE u.
What hurts the most was the whole thing dat u've told me.I may seem to be in silence but it reallie hurts me until it scars deep in my heart. I may nvr give what u always wanted but let me tell u dis, i have my reasons for it.
There's no point going on when u've love sumone else without tellin me. And u made it a point where u wanted me & her. Who the hell u tink u r?? I ain't a doll that u can toy my feelings with.
15 December she's coming back. I noe ur eager to meet her. If she noes u have a gurlfren, y the hell did she have to be ur scandal jack ass. I tink my patience wif u has reached at the maximum. U can have ur life dat u wanted always but remember don't come back into ma life after being turned down or hurt. I will not entertain u anymore. If other gurls were in my shoes, i tink they'd do the same.Perhaps giving u a slap in ur face. I've been keeping dis to maself all dis while. I can't stand it anymore.
I want to have my life as per normal. Enjoying maself & not be stress on dis matter. I want to be loved and not be hurt many times. It's hard for me to forgive u & forget all those things dat u've said. If u still have the feelings for dat fcukin bitCh, go ahead. I'll free u frm my life and erase u totally.
U've really upset me and i don tink i can go on wif u any further. Our journey ends here. Thanks for all the memories.
With love,
Nana.
~ To wHom it May ConceRn~
It's been 3 weeks not seein ya. I'm sorie 4 nt havin the time to meet up. Perhaps i had a bz schedule handling sch and werk..But i'm disappointed that u've turn out to be different frm wad i thought.I've been keeping quiet all dis while but u took advantage of dat. I may seem to be patient wif ya behaviour but now I can say dat i can't stand it anymore. 4 years of pain and laughter.Yet u don't seem to learn from the past mistakes.
Go ahead and flirt around.I don even have a place in ur heart.Perhaps I'm a nobody in ur life. I may left u alone and u might be thinkin dat i'm cruel to do such things to u but plz understand what i'm going thru. I'm tryin so hard to understand u but u proved me wrong. U've once say dat "we'll start a fresh new beginning" but history has been repeated. U've never stay to ur words and i'm nt gonna believe u anymore. U've juz KILL my trust.I'm so sick of all dis. It's just unfair. I'm so heartbroken. Too much pain for me to go thru alone. What did I do to deserve this?